so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
