Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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