you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
