i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
