Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
