Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
