Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
