Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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