How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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