What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
