i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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