Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
