Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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