So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
