i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
