Christians are straight up FREAKS
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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