he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Still dying that you shit outside
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
