i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
