So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
