he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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