don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
