State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
