My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
