You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
