I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
