In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
