It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
