What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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