i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
