You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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