quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
When are your genitals available?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I think my moral compass just broke
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