What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
