They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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