jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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