what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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