Swine flu. Run for my life!
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
