real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Houston, we have a squirter
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
