I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
