maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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