i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
