you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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