bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
