He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
