I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
