I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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