Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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