Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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