I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
