Jerry, you need to find god
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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