He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
