it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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