dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
