Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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